Today we marched to take back San Ildefonso. Trapped in the darkness, I had no choice today but to shoot my foes. The blood splattered all over the darkness, and I couldn't stand the sight. Luckily, I was dismissed to sleep after that. But the rest of the night, I could'nt stand but think of the innocent men's lives I stole away from them. I couldn't sleep the rest of the night, and I felt like getting up and asking Captain Mendoza why they're doing this. But i knew the answer already: "For our safety and freedom." But I don't believe it. I want out of this now. Death doesn't lead to revolutions. It doesn't lead to freedom. It doesn't lead to safety. It doesn't lead to fairness. It doesn't lead to purity. It doesn't lead to happiness. It doesn't lead to equality. It leads to more war. I can't stand the thought of killing more people tomorrow, but I'll have to to survive. I don't even know how to shoot a gun. Seven days ago I was a banana packer. Now I'm a soldier in the revolutionary army (supposedly). So now I'll try to go to sleep with one thing in mind: why me?
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